Smoking in the Rain
by Gwaeros
Summary: Sirius is smoking in the rain, and Remus finds him. Not slash. Currently a oneshot, but I may write more if people like it. Please read & review. Rated T for language.


**A/N: An attempt to write something that actually includes dialogue. Not my favourite piece, but it's a start, I guess. Not slash, unless you want to read it that way. Rated T for language. Not beta-ed. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Smoking in the Rain**

Remus found him outside, slouching against the wall of the holiday cottage with a cigarette clamped between his teeth, inhaling smoke like it was the antidote to some deadly poison. It was raining, but Sirius didn't seem to care, letting the water flow down the curve of his face until it dripped off the end of his nose and made the cigarette hiss and splutter as he breathed out in a puff of mist. The smoke drifted upwards in multicoloured spirals – first orange-green as it twisted its way through the poor excuse for a garden, then taking on the blue-black hue of the sky until it disappeared forever, whipped apart by the wind as it journeyed skywards through the rain. Following it with his eyes, Sirius sighed.

"Why are you here Moony?" He didn't bother to look round for his friend as he heard the back door open and somebody slip into the night; he knew it would be Remus they sent. It was always Remus, and besides, James and Peter were still helping the Potters levitate the suitcases up the stairs to the rooms they would be occupying for the next two weeks. Sirius took another long drag on the cigarette as the other boy sidled past the dying rose bushes to stand beside him, looking out across the overgrown grass to the road that ran along the boundary of the property. Nobody had passed along it since Sirius had left the others inside to stand in the rain; the only noise came from the house and the sound of his own breathing. And now Remus, his clothes rustling as he settled himself against the wall, pulling his jacket tighter around himself in an attempt to stay as dry as possible. Sirius, it seemed, had taken no such precautions and his plaid shirt was soaked, the rolled up sleeves sticking to his elbows. Remus took in his dishevelled appearance with a sigh.

"I could ask you the same question," he replied eventually, his tone light as he stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Why are you out here?"

Sirius gave a half-hearted shrug and turned back to his cigarette, letting the smoke pour out of his mouth as he answered. "Why do you think?" He waved the cigarette dismissively in Remus' direction before returning it to his mouth, rolling it back and forth between his teeth as if deep in thought.

"But why are you_ really _out here?"

Sirius didn't miss the subtle emphasis on the question, and the set of his shoulders hardened as he crossed his arms across his chest, standing up straighter. When he spoke again he wasn't looking at Remus, but his voice was defiant.

"Do I need an excuse to go outside for a smoke?"

"You only smoke when you're upset." The bald statement irked him, and Sirius clenched his fists, glaring daggers at the fence at the bottom of the garden.

"Fuck off Remus."

Remus refused to be offended, knowing by now that with Sirius, anger was normally just a defence mechanism. He reached out to place a hand on Sirius' arm. "What's wrong Pads?" He paused for a moment. "Look, you can talk to me, you know."

Sirius jumped as if physically struck, whirling round off of the wall to face his friend. His wet hair fell across his face, but Remus caught sight of the rage in his eyes as his shook his head, pushing his hair back out of his face.

"Yes, I fucking well can, but you know what Moony? I don't_ want _to talk about it. So why can't you all just fuck off and accept that? I don't want to talk!" His voice, which had started dangerously quiet, ended up in a shout that made Remus flinch in pain, and they realised at the same time that they could be heard from inside when they raised their voices.

Remus reacted quickly and, before he could storm away, Sirius found himself pinned to the wall by a handful of his collar, Remus glaring up at him. He struggled, but despite his size the werewolf was strong, and Sirius couldn't throw him off. Twisting a hand free, the cigarette slipped from his fingers and fell to the ground, spluttering as it was extinguished by the rain. Sirius swore and moved to fumble inside his pocket for another one, but his friend stopped him with a yank on his shirt that almost ripped the material.

"Why can't I accept that?" Remus hissed furiously in answer, pressing his face close to Sirius' in an effort to get his point across. "I can't accept that because I'm your _friend_, Sirius." He shook the handful of shirt clenched in his fist, pushing Sirius harder against the wall and almost choking him. "We all are. And we care about you." Point made, he released the other boy with a disgusted glare and turned away, amber eyes glowing in the light from the kitchen.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Sirius take another cigarette out of his back pocket, cupping his hand around the end as he lit it. In the darkness, the frantic clicking of the lighter sounded muffled, and Remus sighed, his anger fading as the rain began to fall harder, bouncing off the roof tiles. He was thoroughly wet now, and he could feel his shirt soaking through beneath his jacket. He shivered, and for a moment he considered going back inside in the warm, before deciding against it. Pushing off the wall, he turned to Sirius to apologise for getting mad.

"No." The interruption startled him, but when he looked up in confusion Sirius was no longer beside him but pacing up and down the garden. His eyes were stormy in the flickering light of the cigarette, his shoulders hunched against the rain, and watching him, Remus understood that his friend wasn't ready to talk yet. From the wall where he was attempting to shelter himself, Sirius was a shadow in the night, lit now and then by a flicker of red as he turned, his strides coming slower and slower as he calmed.

Finally he came to a stop, a few steps away from the wall. Digging the toe of his boot into the mud, Sirius looked at the floor, alternatively shivering and puffing on his cigarette. There was silence.

"You must be cold, standing out here in the rain," he offered at last, without looking up from the ground. It was an apology of sorts, the type Remus heard most often from his best friend, because Sirius found it difficult to say "_I'm sorry_," and resorted to small gestures instead to show that he cared.

"So must you," Remus replied quietly.

Sirius relaxed, glancing once at the other boy before taking in the garden again, frowning.

"Cigarette?"

"No thanks."

Remus moved over, giving Sirius space to lean against the wall beside him, and for a while they stood there in silence, shoulder to shoulder, listening to the sound of the rain falling. Upstairs, they could hear James and Peter laughing at something, and Mr. Potter telling them off. Sirius' frown deepened.

"Moony?" He spoke quietly, and Remus could tell he was debating whether or not to go on or to pass it off as a joke.

"Hmmn?"

"I got a letter from Reg this morning." Remus drew in his breath, turning to face his friend, but Sirius was staring into the distance, rain pouring down his face and dripping from his hair.

"Yeah?" His reply was noncommittal, giving Sirius a chance to back out.

"He told me to stop writing to him. That I'm no brother of his." Sirius's expression was bleak even in the darkness, and once again he nursed his cigarette like it was a lifeline. Remus reached out a hand again, squeezing his friend's shoulder in support. This time Sirius didn't flinch away.

"Oh Pads, I'm sorry."

"It's ok... It's not like we were close or anything. I mean, I don't know why I care; he obviously doesn't." Remus knew that Sirius was trying to convince himself as much as anything else, but he let him do it anyway, knowing he was only trying to stop himself getting hurt. Silence fell again, until Remus tugged his friend round to face him, pulling him into a hug.

"Don't forget you have us Pads. We're your brothers too." For a moment the only sound was the steady thrumming of Sirius' heartbeat. Then...

"I know."

Remus smiled as he pulled away to look his friend in the eye.

"Good."

**A/N: Thank you for reading. Please review so that I know if what I'm doing is right.**


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